Jen's Christmas Round-up or It Looks As If An Elf Threw Up In Here (Possibly because he ate our gluten free Christmas cookies)

All Hail the Christmas Branch

 Pictured above is a closeup picture of our Christmas branch.  Which is kind of like an alterna-tree that we've been doing for, jeez, fifteen years? 

It's so hard to capture the majesty of the Christmas branch

  I think it all got started when we were feeling broke around the holidays but we had a small rag-tag pile of ornaments in need of hanging. We found a downed branch and hung it from the ceiling with picture wire and never looked back. (Actually we're on our fifth branch because we keep the branches up year round sans decorations)  It's just so dang magical to lay on the couch and gaze up at the twinkling lights, the twenty years of memories the ornaments represent, and the shit-ton of tinsel.  The tinsel really makes it. 

 As a bonus it's cat and toddler proof. Moving on:

Yes, that's a Ninkasi beer cap on the Christmas tree

 Cookies!  Decorating!  Disappointment and disillusionment.  Oh well, it was fun anyhow!
  My mom was a painter and so am I and grew up looking at Christmas cookies as yet another avenue for self expression.  We labored over each cookie and judged people who merely sprinkled their cookies with green and red sugar. (My apologies to the minimalists out there.)   In the last few years my dad has joined us in our traditional explosion of sugar and food dye.  This has also resulted in a more painterly aesthetic.  Or maybe it's the wine.  Or the horribly misshapen gluten free sugar cookies I tried this year.    Never again.  Sorry Rob.  We had to get creative with our interpretations of these mostly amorphous blobs.  So this happened:

The Dreaded Elf Puke Cookie

 Also not likely to be pinned.  Anyhow, if you're in need of one more utterly inspirational holiday idea, I present to you The Snow-P Mobile.  A thrilling combination of Legos, an old pope reference, and an LED lit ornament we found at a big box craft store last year.  Happy Holidays!

It's pronounced "snope"

Easy Pom-pom Garland Made Out of Up-cycled Yarn

Here's a great family friendly craft project that would also be a really good holiday gift idea.

  I love yarn but I don't know how to knit.  Yeah yeah, I know I could totally learn how to do it but ain't nobody got time for that.  So meanwhile I'm relegated to making pom-poms.  When I first attempted to make pom-poms I used the "card board disc" method.  Yikes!  My pom-poms looked like crap.  So I decided to shell out a few bucks for some pom-pom makers I found online by a company named Clover.

 Not only do they work but they're fun and gadget-y in a way that's appealing to kids.  Which was awesome because I initially came up with this idea for a holiday craft fundraiser at my daughters school a couple of years ago.  The kids seemed to really like it and cranked out those pom-pom balls like nobody's business. Although the younger kids (5-6 year olds) needed a bit of assistance.
  I was able to get a ton of yarn cheap at my local second hand art/craft/whatever store called Scrap.(http://scrappdx.org)  It's this awesome place where businesses, artists, and crafters can donate unused and leftover materials.  Keep it movin' people!  Also, in another one of my magical manifestation stories, when I had the original idea for this project but I was in a little bit of doubt about it, I came by a huge bag of colorful yarns.  Literally.  I was riding my bike and someone had put a large bag (about 20 or so skeins) of various colored yarn out on their curb. Which in Portland is the universal signal for "please take this off my hands, I have no use for it anymore". Anyhow, I think unwanted yarn is fairly easy to come by.

The base for your garland

  The other thing you will need is something to attach your pom-poms to.  Fortunately they now make these pre-knitted skeins of yarn.  If you can't find these, perhaps you can finger knit this part.  My 10 year old learned how to do this at school so there's a good chance you know a kid who has this skill.
  Making pom-poms is one of those rare wonderful, trance-inducing, meditative activities that is also enjoyable by the whole family.  At one point I had Rob, Ruby, and my dad all diligently focused on making them for the school fundraiser.  This is also a great activity to do while listening to audio-books.  (And avoiding "screen time")  Our absolute family favorite (we've gone through the series twice) is the Tiffany Aching Series by Terry Pratchett.  There are three books all together: We Free Men, A Hat Full of Sky, and The Wintersmith. http://www.terrypratchettbooks.com/index.php/us/books/the-wee-free-men  
 They were available at our local library.  You will not be disappointed.

Pom-poms with their tails, all ready to
tie on to your garland

  Okay, so now that you have made a bunch of pom-poms with "tails" and haircuts to make them nice and round, all you have left to do is tie them to the pre-knit part.
  Cut the length of the pre-knit yarn the length you want your garland to be.  Lay-out the pom-poms in a manner that is pleasing to you.  IMPORTANT: if you have different sizes, make sure to balance the sizes.  For instance, the bigger balls should go towards the center to avoid having a lopsided garland, as they are heavier.
  Helpful tip: use a closed safety pin much like you would use a needle threader to thread the "tail" through the pre-knit yarn strand. 

  It's a great Christmas decoration but I think it can work all year long.

Pumpkin carving, walnut crushing, booze, and treadling at the Delightist = fun times

Happy Halloween and for whatever reason we're getting all old-timey up in here

Triclops kitty et al.

  Hi all, and I do hope you are enjoying the fall season.  I certainly am! I don't know if it's all this harvest-y energy or what, but a d.i.y., earthy, old time-y theme has emerged  big time in my sphere of earthly existence.
  Exhibit A) I have started making a hawthorne berry "tonic".

  I got the idea for this around a decade ago when I gave birth to Ruby in my living room.  (Huh, maybe I've been kind of old-timey all along)  Anyway, immediately after she came out I was woozy, to say the least.  One of my midwives ran out to the yard and picked some hawthorne berries off our tree for me to eat. (Don't eat the seeds though.)  She explained that they are a fantastic heart tonic.  And she also mentioned that people have made delicious and healthful cordials with them.  Somehow I remembered this little factoid in my haze and kept it tucked away this entire time.  Until now. Pictured above is phase one, infusing the berries (otherwise known as haws) in booze.  The big jar is brandy and the little one is vodka.  I'll keep you posted on how this all goes.  Okay, on to Exhibit B)cracking our own walnuts.

 So we went to our favorite pumpkin patch(http://www.krugersfarmmarket.com if you want to know) to get the pumpkins pictured above.  We got unreasonably excited when we saw that they had unshelled walnuts for sale.  Why you ask?  Well, last Spring, Ruby and I went to Geercrest Farm, an organic, biodynamic farm about a 45 minute drive south of Portland. Here's a link: http://www.geercrest.org/GeerCrest_Farm/Welcome.html
  For a small fee you can spend the day, help out with the chores, and have a delicious lunch made with stuff from the farm. We mostly loved it until a driving rain storm moved in and it was time to collect the eggs and feed the animals.  It was then that our citified ways came to the fore.

We are not farmers

 
   Clearly we are not farmers.  Oh well. But we did discover in the course of this day that we love cracking walnuts and meticulously picking out the meat if need be.  My neighbor Hans, came through yet again by lending us his adorbs squirrel nutcracker.  It works fine but truth be told, I prefer the hammer method. Nut cracking must be a dying art because we could not find a nut picker at any of the local kitchen stores we checked out, but a lobster or fondue fork will do in a pinch. So get yerself some unshelled nuts and be amazed at how satisfying this is.  Or not.
  Alright, on to Exhibit C) Great Grandma Rideout's Singer treadle sewing machine.  Well, kind of.  Here's what happened: two years ago, when my mom died, I had a few pieces of furniture shipped from Oklahoma to here.  My parents were divorced when I was 6 but somehow she ended up with this relic from my dad's side of the family.  I figured it had enough history to make it worth holding on to, plus it looked cool.  So I paid the big bucks to have it professionally packed and shipped and it has been residing in my basement since then.  Flash forward to now when I got a wild hair to sew on a machine and why not on this cool old machine?  My dad was coming out for a visit and I thought it would be a great project for us to try to get this baby up and running again.  So we dug the custom made box out of the depths for the unveiling.  Much cardboard, styrofoam, and some sort of industrial cling wrap later, she emerged.  Well, except for one little detail.  When we opened up the cabinet, the machine was gone!  WTF!?  Somewhere along the line the sewing machine part went away.  Well that was a wee bit of a disappointment.  I calmly started to peruse Craigslist and Ebay.  I also started feeling like I was going to have to learn A LOT more before I would buy a machine this way in order to avoid ending up with a big beautiful sewing machine shaped paper weight.  I didn't have much time at that moment so I decided this would be a project for another time.  Sad.

Note: an I-phone and a beer are critical to antique sewing machine repair

  However, the next night we were having a small party in honor of my dad being in town. At some point in the evening our friend Mike noticed the treadle cabinet in the living room.  As it turns out, he had made a few up-cycled pieces of furniture from antique treadle cabinets and still had two of the old machines he had removed from them in his attic.  So the next night we stopped by his house to see if there was a chance that one of his machines was the right make and model.  Oh my god people, he had the exact Singer we needed!  Can you believe it?  Talk about instant manifestation.  He also had a box of related pieces and parts and an old but unused treadle belt.  Thanks Mike!!!
  Granted, this machine had been sitting in a damp garage attic for a few years and who knows where else before that, but we had faith in this sturdy old technology.  That faith combined with copious amounts of 3 in 1 oil, my dad's ace tinkering skills, and Youtube tutorials, finally rebooted the old dame.  Also, thank you to those angels who post treadle repair instruction on Youtube.  By later the next day we had her humming along.  Then mysteriously jamming up.  Then running again.  Then jamming up.  Finally, she seemed to work out her kinks and now she purrs like a kitten.  Unbelievable.
  So if I can sum all this up, from pumpkin carving to booze to human powered machinery: old time-y = fun for the whole family.
    

  

I Love You Iceland!

I Love You, Iceland!

Hello Summer Vacation

  OMG, somehow, someway, get yourself to Iceland, even if only in your imagination. Immediately. Fellow Pacific North-westerners, did you know it's only a six hour and fifteen minute flight from Seattle? 
Many adventures we had on this surreal, lava and moss strewn wonderland. So much transpired (mountain climbing, glacier hiking, whitewater rafting, biking, iceberg lagoon etc.) it would be hard to fit it all into one post. So I won't even attempt it.
  Of course all the afore mentioned sporty, outdoorsy stuff was super fun, especially while surrounded by various vast, unique, and imposing landscapes. But it was the energy of the land, the people, and the lively and vibrant elemental energies that made this such an awesome place to visit. It was thoroughly refreshing on so many levels.
  Anyhow, here's how the whole she-bang got started:  Rob was invited to go walk Hadrian's Wall in England with a group of our friends from Portland.  Actually, the whole family was invited but walking 10 to 16 mile days for 8 days through a long grim history lesson on Roman occupation and other patriarchal shenanigans sounded like the antithesis of family fun.  I knew Rob had been wanting to do this for awhile and it would be fun (just not with a nine year old in tow) so I gave him my blessing.  "Have fun out there. We'll hold down the fort here in PDX!"   But noooo, the Hadrian's crew had planned on a jaunt to Edinburgh afterward and Rob really, really wanted us to meet up with them there. "Find something for you two to do in Europe while I'm walking", he said.  (Ok it's totally cool when your spouse insists on a European vacation.)

Totes Majestic

 Anyhow, a bit of pondering and a few internet searches later, I came up with the idea of heading to Iceland and meeting up with a tour company named Backroads that does family friendly  tours.  So  I decided to spend the big bucks and let someone else take care of the logistics for a change.  And I am so grateful I was able to do it this way.  It enabled me to relax and truly enjoy the experience rather than having to worry and plan for what needed to happen next.  That was for our amazing guides to do.  Thank you Dani, Katerina, Chema, and Scotty.  You made the magic happen! And you made it all look so easy.

Late evening hike near the East coast of Iceland

  We had a couple of beautiful sunny days with peak summer temps right around 50 degrees Fahrenheit, along with our share of windy, cold, and rainy conditions. In Portland, also a temperate climate,  we get more than our

 fair share of cold, blustery days and frankly, sometimes it can feel tedious and uncomfortable.  Somehow though, in Iceland it all felt really good to me.  Mystically good. Invigorating. Playful even.  And if we managed to get chilled to the bone, there was a good chance we would have access to a hot tub at the end of the day.  They are ubiquitous in Iceland, and of course, geo-thermally heated like everything else in this progressive, eco-minded country. 

Goats!

Thorsmork Valley.  Yep,  majestic.

  More details to come, but for now please enjoy a few pictures.  I hope some of the energy of this wondrous and enchanting island comes through.

Even more majesty

Inspiration....

                                                                            


I was so inspired by this quote, I made this graphic. Feelin' it! 

I started with a picture of Ruby that I took at the Blue Lagoon right outside Keflavik, Iceland.

For more info on Matt Kahn check out: http://www.truedivinenature.com

A Painterly Approach to Tomato Sauce and Cooking in General

Of heirloom tomatoes, saws, gratitude, neighborhood smoking party (not what you're probably thinking),and Jen's home made tomato sauce for the lazy and/or distracted

  So I was riding the vacation bump a couple of days after our return from Iceland and Scotland.  It was a beautiful late summer morning and I was seriously appreciating my neighborhood, the greenery, the food, and the quirky people about.  As if on cue, my neighbor, Hans, showed up with a bunch of gorgeous heirloom tomatoes from his garden and a Bjork CD.  I felt so friggin' grateful!  He has such a beautiful veggie garden.  He also makes really artful arrangements of old tools in his yard.  Like thus:

  All these layers of goodness inspired me; "I'm going to make sauce!"  But first a bike ride.  On the ride I ran into Duane and Betti and they gave me a zucchini from their garden and the idea to make a zucchini fritatta.   My veggie appreciation magnetized even more sauce ingredients later in the day when i stopped by my neighbor Brian's house to retrieve Ruby, who was hanging out with his triplets.  His wife Liz had gotten him a smoker for his birthday and he gave me some of his smoked tomatoes.  Oh sweet jeezus, this sauce is so ON.
  Brian is so jazzed about his smoker he's thinking of inviting neighbors over for regular smoking parties where we'll answer the question, "will it smoke?"  I'll have to admit I got swept up in the excitement and I hope to soon be smoking peaches, beets, and um, marshmallows.  I'll keep you posted.
  Anyhow, back to the sauce. I wanted to keep it simple and I just don't have the patience for recipes (I'm more of a painterly chef) so I just went with what I had; onion, garlic, tomatoes.  

   Step One: Caramelize your chopped onion.
       Great for the lazy and/or distracted chef because you want to stir minimally whilst caramelizing.  The sugars in the onion sink to the bottom and create that lovely caramel effect.  If you happen to have some peppers, mushrooms, or zucchini to add, do it when your onions are almost caramelized.

   Step Two:  Put in as much chopped garlic as you like.  I put in 4 cloves. You actually need to focus at this point in time as garlic can burn fast.  Keep it movin'.

   Step Three:  Throw in your chopped tomatoes, salt, and preferably fresh ground pepper.  Also if you happened to open up a beer that tasted like crap to you because it was way too sweet, throw the other half of the beer in there like I did.  Wine is good too. Herbs are good.  And let's not forget the smoked tomatoes if you're lucky enough to have some.

Tomatoes about to be cooked down

  Then you just let it cook down. There will be no blanching, peeling, straining or the like. This isn't that kind of sauce.  Ain't nobody got time for that. Plus I like the flavor that the skins and seeds impart.  
  Cooking it down can take awhile.  I have no idea how long, an hour?  It depends on how many tomatoes you started with. I was able to check my emails, listen to a podcast, keep an ear and eye on the small hoard of kids playing in my backyard, and kick out an easy zucchini frittata.

Zucchini frittata with awesome sauce

   So just cook it down until it's the consistency you like. You will not believe how much the flavor deepens and intensifies.  Especially if you use sweet home grown tomatoes.  And, oh my gawd, the smoked tomatoes took it to whole new level. I only needed about half the sauce so the rest will be going on a G.F. pizza tonight.  The only downfall is that it will ruin you for store bought sauce FOREVER.

Cat bow ties. Yep it's a thing.

Your cat most likely needs a bow tie
  I'm so in love with this idea!     I may be in in love with this idea but my cats are avowed nudists who eschew even the simplest of collars. I'm afraid bow ties for Mr. Tomkinz and Katerina might result in pee-soaked laundry and other undesirable acts of resistance.  Still, someone's cats could rock this look. I saw these at Last Thursday. (More on this later). Check 'em out at:http://businesscatual.com. Oh, and they're only 8 bucks AND made out of recycled materials. 

  They have really great postcards too.  And probably the largest selection of cat bow ties you'll find anywhere.

  Okay, so Last Thursday, how can I possibly explain you?  It's basically a monthly "arts"  (let's just use that term loosely) unjuried, free-for-all, street fair that happens just a block or so from my house in beautiful Portland, Oregon.  With around ten thousand of your closest friends wearing anything from t-shirts and shorts, to a jellyfish costume, to paint.  Um, just paint. It's very "organic" by which I mean to say it's VERY lightly organized. It can be an unbelievable cacophony of sound and smell.  And if you're not in the right frame of mind it can feel like unmitigated pathos and make you seriously question...well, everything.  But at some point in the evening, I promise you will see or experience some crazy-ass, imaginative, amazing thing or collision of things that will bring you BACK. Ready to mainline life again.  Thank you very much random freaky people.

  Besides,  there's usually organic cotton candy.

Organic cotton candy because I care!

Say "no" to boring purses with your sharpie and mad doodling skills

  So my beloved old canvas purse was dying and I needed a replacement and I was lucky enough to find this fab red bag.  A fine enough bag, but ultimately lacking in pizzaz. Something had to be done.
  Not to brag but I'm somewhat of a master doodler.  When I was still in school and almost everyone else was dutifully taking notes, I was busy honing my craft.  Maybe you were a diligent doodler as well?  Well here's a chance to show off.
  If you're feeling a little rusty or in need of inspiration, do check out my doodle board on Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/zendances/doodle/.

  

Prosecco cocktails !

Two very refreshing Prosecco cocktails with sparkling cucumber water and either St.Germaine or ginger liqueur

  It's hard to believe that the fun-filled effervescence that is Prosecco could be improved upon.  But thanks to an enlightening night of research and development with my crack team of intrepid explorers, we may have stumbled upon a refreshing twist on said bubbles for those steamy summer nights.  (Thanks to my R & D team, Heintz, Julie, Duane, Betti, and of course, Rob.) By the way, the ginger liqueur is from a local distiller here in Portland, http://www.newdealdistillery.com   and it is fabulous.  Here are the recipes:

Up-cycling 0ld 70's Art

What to do with those old 70's style brown metal sculptures one finds at a thrift shop, garage sale, or perhaps on their parent's wall.

  So I got the idea for this after "enhancing" some semi-tacky butterfly shaped metal sculptures I literally found lying on the side of the road.  Which was really a cool story in itself as it came at a time in my life when I was going through a major transformation and I needed a little confirmation that I, myself was succeeding in the process of upgrading some of my internal semi-tackiness into something more cohesive and beautiful.  Anyhow, I mentioned that I wanted to do more of this "enhancing" to my friend and ace thrifter, Rachelle, and she immediately found this spectacular ship. (thanks Rachelle!)  Rumor has it that this beauty came out of an old bar in Astoria on the Oregon coast.  Judging by the nicotine stench I find this story to have some plausibility. 

   Step 1) hose down your sculpture.

   Step 2) just start splashing paint around and decoupaging the heck out of whatever metal sculpture thingy you've managed to get your hands on.

             Some More Random Tips

   I found it helpful to lay down a light base color on the entire thing. But I kept it fairly painterly. I like that some of the metal showed through. 

   Fan brushes and a spray bottle.  Fun to play with and great for the textures and drips I love so much.

So much fun!

   I used scrap booking paper, newspaper, and old wrapping paper for the decoupage part.  In retrospect, maps would have been cool too.  Mod-podge is my adhesive of choice.

   I also used some stencils and just regular old painting in case you were wondering.   The sky is the limit.  As I was working on this, I really wanted to let it unfold in the present moment, in the lightest and most joyful way I could muster.  No mulling or planning allowed!  Just being.  It felt really good and it still feels really good to me when I look at it. Tall ships have made appearances in my work in the past.  I think they appeal to me as symbol of the soul with each sail unfurled representing a another lifetime.  Each lifetime providing experiences that propel your "ship" across the multiverse.  Each experience (no matter how "good" or "bad") adding more interest, beauty, and power to your voyage.  Um, at least that's where I went with it.

   

D.I.Y. Upcycled Patchwork Scarf

D.I.Y. Upcycled Patchwork Scarf
So easy!

 Do you have a stash of old scarves that you don't wear anymore because they just aren't the right size for that insouciant, devil-may-care, fling-around-your-neck-in-a-daring-jumble,sort of way?   Well here's your solution!  

 I obviously used three scarves but I think it depends on  the dimensions of the scarves you start with and what you like.  Then find some complementary trims.  Pom-pom ball trim must be all the rage as I was blown away by the range of colors and sizes at my local fabric store.  Fringe, beaded trims, and sequins should be considered as well.

 OK, confession time, The two smaller scarves already had trim.  Which was a great time saver.  Which was fantastic because I had to hand sew the whole damn thing. Actually I find hand sewing quite meditative and relaxing.  Also I don't have a sewing machine.  So there's that.  I'm sure if you had a machine you could kick this out in no time.

 Happy sewing!