Jen's Christmas Round-up or It Looks As If An Elf Threw Up In Here (Possibly because he ate our gluten free Christmas cookies)

All Hail the Christmas Branch

 Pictured above is a closeup picture of our Christmas branch.  Which is kind of like an alterna-tree that we've been doing for, jeez, fifteen years? 

It's so hard to capture the majesty of the Christmas branch

  I think it all got started when we were feeling broke around the holidays but we had a small rag-tag pile of ornaments in need of hanging. We found a downed branch and hung it from the ceiling with picture wire and never looked back. (Actually we're on our fifth branch because we keep the branches up year round sans decorations)  It's just so dang magical to lay on the couch and gaze up at the twinkling lights, the twenty years of memories the ornaments represent, and the shit-ton of tinsel.  The tinsel really makes it. 

 As a bonus it's cat and toddler proof. Moving on:

Yes, that's a Ninkasi beer cap on the Christmas tree

 Cookies!  Decorating!  Disappointment and disillusionment.  Oh well, it was fun anyhow!
  My mom was a painter and so am I and grew up looking at Christmas cookies as yet another avenue for self expression.  We labored over each cookie and judged people who merely sprinkled their cookies with green and red sugar. (My apologies to the minimalists out there.)   In the last few years my dad has joined us in our traditional explosion of sugar and food dye.  This has also resulted in a more painterly aesthetic.  Or maybe it's the wine.  Or the horribly misshapen gluten free sugar cookies I tried this year.    Never again.  Sorry Rob.  We had to get creative with our interpretations of these mostly amorphous blobs.  So this happened:

The Dreaded Elf Puke Cookie

 Also not likely to be pinned.  Anyhow, if you're in need of one more utterly inspirational holiday idea, I present to you The Snow-P Mobile.  A thrilling combination of Legos, an old pope reference, and an LED lit ornament we found at a big box craft store last year.  Happy Holidays!

It's pronounced "snope"

Easy Pom-pom Garland Made Out of Up-cycled Yarn

Here's a great family friendly craft project that would also be a really good holiday gift idea.

  I love yarn but I don't know how to knit.  Yeah yeah, I know I could totally learn how to do it but ain't nobody got time for that.  So meanwhile I'm relegated to making pom-poms.  When I first attempted to make pom-poms I used the "card board disc" method.  Yikes!  My pom-poms looked like crap.  So I decided to shell out a few bucks for some pom-pom makers I found online by a company named Clover.

 Not only do they work but they're fun and gadget-y in a way that's appealing to kids.  Which was awesome because I initially came up with this idea for a holiday craft fundraiser at my daughters school a couple of years ago.  The kids seemed to really like it and cranked out those pom-pom balls like nobody's business. Although the younger kids (5-6 year olds) needed a bit of assistance.
  I was able to get a ton of yarn cheap at my local second hand art/craft/whatever store called Scrap.(http://scrappdx.org)  It's this awesome place where businesses, artists, and crafters can donate unused and leftover materials.  Keep it movin' people!  Also, in another one of my magical manifestation stories, when I had the original idea for this project but I was in a little bit of doubt about it, I came by a huge bag of colorful yarns.  Literally.  I was riding my bike and someone had put a large bag (about 20 or so skeins) of various colored yarn out on their curb. Which in Portland is the universal signal for "please take this off my hands, I have no use for it anymore". Anyhow, I think unwanted yarn is fairly easy to come by.

The base for your garland

  The other thing you will need is something to attach your pom-poms to.  Fortunately they now make these pre-knitted skeins of yarn.  If you can't find these, perhaps you can finger knit this part.  My 10 year old learned how to do this at school so there's a good chance you know a kid who has this skill.
  Making pom-poms is one of those rare wonderful, trance-inducing, meditative activities that is also enjoyable by the whole family.  At one point I had Rob, Ruby, and my dad all diligently focused on making them for the school fundraiser.  This is also a great activity to do while listening to audio-books.  (And avoiding "screen time")  Our absolute family favorite (we've gone through the series twice) is the Tiffany Aching Series by Terry Pratchett.  There are three books all together: We Free Men, A Hat Full of Sky, and The Wintersmith. http://www.terrypratchettbooks.com/index.php/us/books/the-wee-free-men  
 They were available at our local library.  You will not be disappointed.

Pom-poms with their tails, all ready to
tie on to your garland

  Okay, so now that you have made a bunch of pom-poms with "tails" and haircuts to make them nice and round, all you have left to do is tie them to the pre-knit part.
  Cut the length of the pre-knit yarn the length you want your garland to be.  Lay-out the pom-poms in a manner that is pleasing to you.  IMPORTANT: if you have different sizes, make sure to balance the sizes.  For instance, the bigger balls should go towards the center to avoid having a lopsided garland, as they are heavier.
  Helpful tip: use a closed safety pin much like you would use a needle threader to thread the "tail" through the pre-knit yarn strand. 

  It's a great Christmas decoration but I think it can work all year long.